New amusements

I feel like this blog is going the same route as Andy's. It's hard to find things to say here, things that are worthy of public knowledge. Maybe that's just part of growing up?

Now there's something to write about. I feel like the last six months have brought more maturity than the whole year before that, or the five years before that, or the ten years before that, etc. In fact, I keep saying this, over and over and over again, talking about how "lately I've been growing up, and it's scaring me." But here's where this time it's different: It's not so frightening this time. I'm starting to feel alive inside of myself. I'm growing into my skin and my brain and my soul and I like it. I've spent the last (at least) five years of my life asking "Who am I?" and I'm reaching a point where I think I might know. I'll never pin it down forever, because I'll never stop changing, but here I am, with a better grasp on it than ever before.

I've become very aware of how lucky I am. For every event that tore me down, for every harsh word spoken for no reason other than to hurt me, for every blow I've been dealt physically and metaphorically, a gift has been given to me. I've never been taken down to the bottom. I've never been completely lost. I've been taken just to the brink, so that I could come back a thousand times better and stronger than I was before. I've suffered and hurt, but unlike others, I've survived and become something different and more wonderful because of it all. This is who I am, you know. This is what I've discovered recently.

I have my parents now, two people who were taken from me often as a child by circumstance and the malevolence of others. I have true friends now, the kind you make and don't forget. I have animals that help me remember that I'm not the center of my own universe. I have a life partner who understands me like no one else, and yet doesn't just enough to keep our lives exciting.

So yes, I'm... Growing up. I know who I am, I know how lucky I am, I know where my life is and where it's going. Does that mean I won't blog anymore? I guess that's the only thing I don't know.

Big trouble

Monday evening, a storm passed through the area. Not just a typical summer storm; rather, the kind that produces F0 and F1 tornadoes all over town. The kind that picks up trees and throws them onto folks' cars and houses.

In this case, my car and house. The house took $6,000+ worth of damage, and my car needs a new windshield and is covered in dents and scratches. It could've been worse... I was sitting right below/in front of the point where the tree hit the house when it happened. A bit of plaster even conked me on the head. It could've been worse, but it was still freaky as hell.

Luckily it's only going to cost $237 to replace my windshield, but what is particularly sucky about that is that it's coming out of pocket. I had to give up full coverage insurance because it simply cost too much for me, so if this had happened just three weeks ago, I would've been covered. Initially our landlord claimed it would probably be covered by the housing insurance, but today the story is different. It's really not something I can even wait on, because I'm leaving for school in just 12 days.

I also had to quit my job four days early because of this. No car to drive == no job. There goes a couple hundred dollars I could've used for textbooks...

Betta updates

Titan is dead. He came here dealing with internal parasites, and about a week before his death on Monday he started showing the symptoms of dropsy as well. The poor little guy only had one or two days of happiness here before his illnesses drained his color and joy away. I'm very angry with the breeder for sending me a fish with parasites. They're what caused the dropsy -- apparently they damaged his organs before I could successfully kill them all (which is what convinces me that he had them before he even got here, along with the fact that one was sticking out of him when he was in his shipping bag), and finally his kidneys failed. I wanted to euthanize him by the third day with dropsy, but I couldn't find any clove oil. Luckily, once his labyrinth organ and gills started to fail, he died fairly peacefully.

I'm returning to school with only four fish. Amalthea and Hugo are the only two from the original summer bunch coming. Lir is staying with my mother, where he'll be upgraded from his temporary .5 gallon bowl to a nice hooded/lit 2 gallon aquarium. My new girls, Athena and Mystique, are also coming with. I have a 10 gallon tank that I was planning on bringing with me to split between three males, but that was when I had Titan, Lir, and Hugo to put in it. Now I think I'm going to leave the 10 gallon here, to save for when I live with Andrew and have more space. I'll take the 5.5 gallon that hasn't been used yet, split it between Hugo and a new boy (another veil, most likely, unless I can get a crowntail at the CNY Betta Club), and then buy a 5 or 6 gallon tank to put the girls in. Hopefully, since there will be three there will be little conflict. I'll plant it excessively to be sure that the girls have somewhere to hide if Amalthea decides to pick on them. I'll still have two one gallon tanks as well, so I'll probably pick up at least one male plakat from the Rochester breeder when I buy Andy his new baby plakat.

It's funny how my spontaneous betta purchase last October turned into this amazingly difficult yet rewarding hobby for me.